Matthew 18:21-35  *  August 31, 2008  *  Pentecost 16  *  Pastor Leyrer

 

Dear Friends in Christ,

 

It was a sad conversation I found myself in, and one maybe you’ve run into in one form or another. This one had to do with family affairs. The gist of the conversation was that this particular family didn’t get along.  Apparently some years ago some of the members “had words.”  Tempers flared, lines were drawn and things were said that shouldn’t have been.  But they were and, as a result, one family member moved clear across the country – far away from the rest.

 

Now a new sort of dilemma was beginning to arise.  Time was marching on and family members were starting to die.  The big question was whether or not the member who moved away would attend the first funeral.  An invitation was offered, but the answer was… no.  And as an explanation for his absence, he stated that just too many things had been said and done; that he couldn’t forget or forgive what had happened in the past.

 

Think about this for a minute.  Maybe you know similar situations.  Maybe they exist within your own extended family – or even within your own immediate family.  But just think of what a spirit of unwillingness to forgive meant for the family I just mentioned.

 

Uprooting one’s life.  Cutting off communication from other family members.  Holding a life-long grudge.  Having certain subjects that “we just don’t talk about.”  Plus the physical and emotional effects that accompany such an unforgiving spirit (high blood pressure, anxiety, chronic bitterness, etc.).  Not to mention the spiritual ramifications involved.

 

Total it all up and we can’t help but come to the conclusion that there is a pretty high cost involved for not forgiving.

 

The text we have before us is perhaps Jesus’ clearest and most exhaustive teaching on the subject of forgiveness.  In this parable our Lord approaches the topic from both a positive and negative point of view.  Implicit in His words are why we can and must forgive; but just as clear is His pronouncement on the consequences of failing to do so, as He especially points out for us and all His people

 

THE HIGH COST OF NOT FORGIVING

 

Let’s briefly work through our text and then draw from it some vitally important life lessons.

 

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me?  Up to seven times?   Jesus had just spoken about dealing with a fellow brother or sister who was engaged in a sinful lifestyle or activity.  He talked about the Christian’s individual and then corporate responsibility in carrying out the various steps of what we commonly refer to as “church discipline.” 

 

Peter keeps the conversation going and continues to probe the subject of sin and forgiveness.  He realizes he must forgive others, but how often?  He then suggests a number.  Seven times?

 

Peter no doubt thought this was a big number.  He probably even expected Jesus to acknowledge him for his liberalism.  But there was something wrong with Peter’s approach.  He was looking for a formula.  He was asking Jesus to lay down certain defined limits after which he could then stop being a forgiving person.

 

Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” This answer completely destroyed Peter’s underlying assumption.  The meaning is clear: The spirit of forgiveness is to know no boundaries.

 

Jesus then illustrates His point with a parable.  We can summarize it in three statements:  1) A king shows mercy to his servant by canceling a huge debt, far beyond what the servant could possibly ever pay; 2) The servant, in turn, refuses to cancel the petty debt of a fellow servant; 3) Because of this gross act of ingratitude, the king imposes the original sentence upon the unmerciful servant, and even adds to it.

 

As we reflect upon this parable, a couple of divergent thoughts come to mind.  We are impressed positively by the generosity and sympathy of the king; at the same time we are impressed negatively by the pettiness and selfishness of the servant.  The lesson of this parable is obvious, but just so that it cannot possibly be missed, Jesus states it very clearly with His concluding sentence:  “This is how My Heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.”

 

Drawing from this parable and other portions of Scripture, let us now consider three specific Biblical truths on the topic of forgiveness.  As we spend time with these truths we will be impressed with how important it is for followers of Christ to have – and exercise – a forgiving spirit…

 

TRUTH #1 – UNWILLINGNESS TO FORGIVE IS AN INSULT TO THE CROSS OF CHRIST.  There is no question as to where we fit into this parable.  We are God’s debtors.  We are the ones who cannot come even remotely close to paying God the debt of perfect obedience to His commands that we owe Him.  Like it or not, that huge debt of sin and disobedience is there.  And it remains there until it is either paid off or forgiven.

 

And it was.  By Jesus Christ.  We know the story well.  We know all about Jesus’ perfect life in our place and His death as the substitute for our sins.  This is the Gospel message around which our lives as Christians and as a church revolve.

 

We know how it applies to each of us personally as well.  Jesus lived, died and rose again not for Himself, but for us.  Through His doing, dying and rising the debt of our sin has been paid in full.  The result:  We are a saved people.

 

Which means we are the ones, like the servant in the parable, who have been forgiven much.  Therefore – and this is the point Jesus drives home – to be unable to forgive others who have slighted us far less than we have sinned against God is very ungrateful, is it not?

 

Likewise, to expect Christ to forgive us fully and completely, and then to be unwilling to forgive others in the same way is a terrible double standard, is it not?  Central to our lives as Christians is the cross.  It is the cause of our forgiveness.  It is also the motivation for our forgiving others.

 

The point again:  To be unwilling to forgive as Jesus asks us here and other places (the Lord’s Prayer, for example) is an insult to the cross of Christ.  Because receiving AND DISPENSING is what the cross is all about…

 

TRUTH #2 – UNWILLINGNESS TO FORGIVE DOES SERIOUS INTERNAL AND EXTERNAL DAMAGE.   Here is a saying worth remembering:  “Hate does more damage to the vessel in which it is stored, than to the object on which it is poured.”  The observable truth behind this statement is that an unforgiving spirit leads to bitterness and a lust for revenge that can easily consume a person.  And in the process everything else suffers – family, work, enjoyment in and of life, etc.  It’s the attitude we see in the unforgiving servant.  And Christians are not immune to this malady.  If they were, Jesus wouldn’t have to speak this parable.

 

Among the things God tells us in the great love chapter of the Bible is that Christian love keeps no record of wrongs.  Like any other directive given to us by God, when this is not followed through on – when a record of wrongs is kept – the result will be pain and unhappiness.  And we find out in our personal lives and in the lives of others we know that hate does indeed do more damage to the vessel in which it is stored than to the object on which it is poured.

 

Which leads us to our third and final truth:  TRUTH #3 – UNWILLINGNESS TO FORGIVE SEPARATES US FROM GOD.  We can’t help but notice that at the end of this parable, Jesus is very blunt.  It is apparent He intended to be so.  “Forgive,” says Jesus, “as you have been forgiven.  Refuse to forgive and forfeit the benefit of your own forgiveness.” 

 

The point, again, is clear.  Forgiveness is not optional for the believer; rather it is an essential ingredient in the Christian life!  In other words, Jesus says the practice of forgiveness is so interwoven into the Christian life that true saving faith cannot exist in the heart of one who is unwilling to forgive.

 

Let’s not misunderstand.  Practicing forgiveness toward others is not easy.  Forgiveness is one of those subjects that is easy to talk about in theory but becomes quite difficult when we have to apply it to real life situations.  And heaven knows that most of us get enough chance to work on it.  I’m sure every one of us here has either intentionally or unintentionally had our feelings hurt by another person. 

 

(As a sidebar we should know that Jesus has some equally strong words for those who intentionally hurt other people with words and actions, but that’s beyond the scope of this text. It should also be noted that forgiveness toward others does not erase the accountability their actions may demand.  Even when forgiveness is practiced, actions have consequences which sometimes changes relationships.) 

 

The point we simply wish to make is that practicing forgiveness toward people who have hurt us is hard.  So hard, in fact, that we can’t do it by ourselves.  But with God’s help, it can be practiced successfully. 

 

Let us note well that there is a big difference between wanting to forgive and finding it difficult to do so and choosing not to forgive.  The first God will help us with as we come to Him confessing our struggle to forgive on our own and seeking His aid.  The other is a conscious act of disobedience, which puts us under the condemnation of Jesus’ strong, unable-to-be-misunderstood last words in the parable.

 

Which serves to underscore, once again, this truth:  Forgiveness is not optional for believers, but a basic, foundational component of the Christian life.

 

Let’s bring our thoughts to a close by pointedly applying these words of Jesus not to the lives of others we may know, but to ourselves personally. 

 

Remember the conversation I mentioned at the beginning of this sermon?  Could it be that maybe you’ve been holding a grudge against someone for years?  Could it be that there is a person or people in your life whom you find not just hard to forgive, but whom you have no real desire to forgive?  Could it be that you have taken the attitude: “Yes, I know what the Bible says about forgiveness and I know I should be forgiving, but I’m not quite ready yet to forgive that person for what they’ve done… to me, or my family or my life?”

 

If that is the case, today Jesus says to us:  “Okay.  That’s your choice.  But count the cost.  It may be higher than you think.”

 

Far better to practice on others what God has bestowed upon us so lavishly in Christ – full and free forgiveness.  Though our sins are like scarlet, through the work of Christ God views us as white as snow.  To practice forgiveness is not only Christ-like, fundamentally Christian and shows a willingness to hear and obey our Lord, but also provides us with this additional blessing:  It frees us from a life of bitterness and resentment.

 

So, may God grant us forgiving spirits.  And this God will work in us as we continually contemplate the cross... as we continually remember how much we have been forgiven… and at what cost it came to us.  Then, standing in the pure joy of the knowledge of our own forgiveness, we can – and will – be forgiving of others, for Christ’s sake.   Amen.