9 "How can this be?" Nicodemus asked.
- John 3:9, The New International Version, (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan
Publishing House) 1984.
Dear Friends in Christ,
It was a cold winter's night in late December. Dad and I were sitting in front of the fireplace and dad was telling me about his friend Martin. He had just found out that Martin had colon cancer. Martin would have to have surgery and chemo therapy. As dad told me this news he gave me a rare glimpse into his heart. It was one of those times when I saw that dad was upset about what was happening to his friend. He was trying to understand how a man who had always been in good health and always taken good care of himself could end up with a life threatening disease. Dad was really asking the question, "How can this be?" Two weeks later my family gathered in the same house for a funeral but the funeral was not Martin's, it was dad's. Stunned and schocked by the heart attack that took dad in an instant dad's children and wife looked at one another and said, "How can this be?"
As I think of my personal experience and as I think of the many conversations that I have had with cancer patients in hospitals and elderly people in nursing homes, I have come to realize that this question keeps coming up over and over again. It is a question that is asked with great emotion. It is a question that cries out for an answer and that searches for peace and resolution.
As we look at Jesus and Nicodemus today, let us note that this conversation is just between the two of them. This is what we would call a one-on-one. This one-on-one conversation is significant for you and me because what Jesus did with Nicodemus is a call for you and I to do the same for individuals that we know in the world in which we live. On this mission festival I would like each of you to think of how our Lord wants you to share His love with at least one other human being. As we ponder how to share the Gospel one-on-one, let us consider three things. Ponder first of all the setting that brings forth the question of Nicodemus. Ponder secondly the settings that prompt the question. And thirdly, let us think of some practical applications.
Many a teacher has presented a lecture on his subject matter. He has tried to make it interesting. He has embellished the material with stories and illustrations. He has used graphics and overheads. He thinks that what he has presented should stimulate many questions and much discussion. But when he stops and asks, "Are there any questions?" he is discouraged and demoralized by the silence that follows. "No questions?" he asks just to make sure and then he dismisses the class and he goes to the faculty room and bangs his head against the wall.
How come students have so few questions in class? Are they dumb? Are they bored? Don't they care to learn? These are possible answers but I wonder if it isn't more a matter of dynamics. In a large class what student is going to ask a question in front of his classmates and give his friends the chance to accuse him of trying to get in good with the teacher. What student wants to take the chance of asking a dumb question? Of revealing what he really things to a large group of people? Of letting it be known what he is searching for and where he hurts? When you think of the risk involved in this kind of setting you have to be amazed that there is as much discussion in class as there is.
This is what makes me look at the fact that Jesus and Nicodemus are alone and say, "Aha!" This is important. This is what provides a setting for the heart to open up and declare itself. Jesus did a lot of group stuff. But the more I look at His ministry the more it hits me in the face that He especially did one-on-ones with people. He was a good listener. He was warm. He was caring. He withheld judgment. In every way He could He tried to surround a person with the feeling you are safe here. We are alone. No one else can hear. No one is going to laugh. No one is going to go ballistic over what you say. No one is going to get upset with you or belittle you.
See how Jesus did this with Nicodemus. He comes at night. We can see him looking over his shoulder to see if anyone is following him or sees him coming to Jesus. He doesn't know where to start the conversation. He flatters Jesus to try to get in with Him. You can almost see the smile on Jesus' face as Jesus says to him, "You're kind of nervous aren't you? You were afraid to come weren't you? I'm glad you came. Forget the flattery. You are searching for some big answers aren't you? Your life isn't what you want it to be. You have to be born again, Nicodemus. You aren't going to see what you want to see unless you get a new pair of eyes. With warmth, with gentleness, with questions that show he knows where Nicodemus is at Jesus creates the surroundings that will allow Nicodemus to bare his soul.
Out of this safe place where two people sit knee to knee and face to face, there is a wide range of feelings in the heart that prompt a person to ask, "How can this be?" Nicodemus is feeling uneasy. He has a good life. He has money and power and respect but inside he feels like there is something missing. There is an emptiness in him. He wonders if he has missed the big picture. Is he really doing what God wants him to do? This is one of the settings that prompts his question? He is searching for meaning and understanding.
"You must be born again of water and the spirit," Jesus says to him. We have always understood this as a reference to baptism. To coming to faith. To being converted and I think that is what Jesus is talking about. But think also of water and the spirit in the context of creation. In Genesis it says that the earth was without form and void and darkness was upon the face of the waters and the Spirit hovered over the waters. Creation began with water and the Spirit. As we ponder and question what life means the Spirit hovers over the waters of our heart and creation begins anew. Coming to faith, converting, changing our minds and lives is an ongoing and repetitive process. We may have had it together yesterday. But today is a new day and we may have to look at things in a new way and find new avenues and pursue new roads to find the meaning we need.
No one knows this better than children. When little children get up in the morning, they can't wait to get out of bed. They are singing and running around to see what is new. It is a new day and they know there are new things to see. Today they are going to see a butterfly come out of a cocoon. They saw a caterpillar eat and get fat and spin a cocoon. Today they see a beautiful and wondrous creature with wings and brilliant colors burst out of that cocoon and fly away. With wonder on their faces and delight at what they see they say, "grandpa, did you see the butterfly come out of there? How can this be?"
Meaning and wonder can prompt the question How can this be? So can pain. Not long ago I sat with Kathy on the bone marrow transplant unit as she told me how she had been delivering meals on wheels to an elderly lady and was viciously attached by this lady's German Shepherd. She thought she was going to die. She lost chunks of flesh and muscle and had to have surgery. A year later she was severely injured in a car accident as she was hit in a shopping center parking lot by a drunk driver. A year later her severe back pain led her to a specialist who told her she had cancer of the bone marrow. As Kathy told me the series of blows that had brought her to her knees she broke down and sobbed, "I feel like God has abandoned me." In her pain Kathy was asking, "How can this be?"
Disappointment can prompt the question also. I sit with Margaret in her room in a nursing home. She tells me that she can't sleep very well at night. While she lies there sleepless she thinks back over her life. She was very beautiful when she was young. She was popular and had friends and did a lot of dating. But she was married twice to men who abused her physically and emotionally. It was not the life she wanted or dreamed of having. Now her life is filled with ill health and declining strength and she wonders will there be nothing good for me? Where did I go wrong? What could I have done differently? Can I still find something in the days that remain? "How can this be?"
As I speak of the settings that prompt people to ask the question "How can this be?" perhaps you have begun to think about people you know who are searching, who are hurting, who are disappointed with the way their life has gone. Let us think of how you can practically do something to respond to these people in your life. Back in January we began a pilot program with a few people from St. John's. We did a little training in the basics of how to provide a caring, loving, listening environment as Jesus did with Nicodemus and then we went to a nursing home on the south side of Milwaukee and tried to do one-on-ones with one specific resident. We have met several times since then as a group to talk about how things have gone. To learn, to regroup, to celebrate what has gone well. While there have been challenges and discouragements these conversations have accomplished their purpose. Margaret has opened her heart more and more to ask for comfort and hope and forgiveness. Many of the others in the group have had similar joys with their nursing home friends. I am encouraged by these experiences. I am more firmly convinced that if we can take the time to develop a one-on-one relationship with another person, the spiritual issues will arise and that heart can be ministered to. In another month I will be running another training session for people who want to increase their skills of building a friendship and sharing their faith. Some of you may want to do this in a nursing home setting. Some of you may want to use this in your home or work setting. You are all welcome to attend this training and get a taste for being a part of the great commission.
The longer I am in the ministry the more clearly I see that it takes a lot of time to work with people to gain their trust so they will open their hearts and you can see what message the Lord wants you to impart. It is basically a one-on-one ministry. The more I see this the more it becomes clear that we have to get all of God's army mobilized to reach the vast numbers of people who are out there. Each of you has your own location and connections with people. It is time we started to use the opportunities that lie before us. You have heard many sermons on sharing the Gospel and yet have gone home thinking but I couldn't do that. I hope that you look at how Jesus has gone one-on-one with you, how He has listened to your pain and struggles, dried your tears, and shed His blood for your sins and now you see with His love in your heart you can say, "I can sit and listen to some one too." You can be a soul mate to some Nicodemus. Amen.